There are a few reasons why, despite my vote for Barack Obama, John McCain will be the next President of the United States. The refreshing thing about the likelihood of a McCain victory is that he will win because of what he is, and not the shortcomings of his opponents. This November, voters won’t have to endure another “lesser-of-two-evils” process of elimination to choose a leader.
This election looks nothing like the lethargic Kerry-Bush battle that left so many Americans flipping a coin and anticipating another four years of similar politics, irrespective to the outcome. Most voters are quite passionate about at least one of the candidates this year, and many admit that all three of the remaining contenders have the right merits to be a great President.
Here’s why John McCain will win anyway.
1. He’s the “Republican choice of Democrats.” For a septuagenarian, McCain is pretty tuned in to what the kids are doing. He’s a longtime friend of Jon Stewart, and has gone toe-to-toe with Stephen Colbert several times, matching every witty quip. That there are many liberals actively campaigning for McCain is a huge testament to his understated ability to pull support from across the aisle.
2. He’s a lot like George W. Bush. It might seem like a strange attribute for a person looking to win an election, considering Bush’s 30 approval rating. But it’s easy to forget that Bush is still very popular in the square states. That a woman or a black man could be president seems pretty obvious to those of us living in Southern California, but there are a lot of people between here and Manhattan that are far more comfortable with another four years with a Republican in the Oval Office.
3. He’s nothing like Bush. Let us not forget McCain ran a close campaign against Bush in 2000 for the Republican nomination. Although both men served in the military, Bush’s record pales in comparison to McCain’s. Bush was accepted to the National Guard after scoring the lowest possible aptitude test. McCain, following his father and grandfather as a four-star general in the U.S. Navy, received several honors including a bronze star, a silver star and a purple heart. He spent five years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. Although America voters are tired and frustrated by the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, no other candidate is better suited to the task of making decisions about the course of action in times of war.
4. He wrote a good book. Actually, he wrote 10 good books. Then again, Barack Obama actually won a couple of Grammys for the audio recordings of his two books, so maybe this point only counts for half credit…
5. He’s hard as hell. Americans like that. McCain is often regarded as having the hottest temper of any senator. He swears, he’s intimidating, he’s been tortured. Voters were bored with the cuddly, limp-wristed slap fight in the 2004 election, and this year they’ll be looking for a heavy hitter.
6. He’s a cutie. Hey, for 71, John McCain looks real good. Americans love a hottie. There are a few obvious exceptions, like Jimmy Carter, Grover Cleveland, and (shudder) William Taft, but Americans generally appreciate a hot President.
7. The Democratic contenders are having too much fun playing with each other to focus on the “big game.” OK, this one goes against what I said earlier, that McCain will win by his own merits, but it’s still an important point. When I was little, I asked my dad what would happen in the NFL playoffs if two teams in the semi-finals couldn’t beat each other. He told me they would go to overtime. I asked what would happen if neither team could score, and they went to second overtime, then third overtime, then fourth overtime… and he told me they would “miss their flight to the Super Bowl.” Clinton and Obama are so wrapped up in the semi-finals, they’ve missed the flight to the Super Bowl. McCain probably would have won anyway, but it certainly helps. With so much time to prepare, McCain’s most difficult decision will be which chapter of his growing playbook to turn to first.
Many Republicans are having a tough time accepting John McCain’s not-so-conservative politics, and many Democrats are terrified that, after coming this close to having a female or black President, they’re going to lose to yet another old white guy. In the interest of avoiding that startling moment of shock the morning of Nov. 5, it might be wise to get acquainted with him now. After all, in hindsight, he’s the guy America meant to vote for in 2000.
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